The Long Way Home
So begins the next chapter and long journey home for us this cruising season. 2018 was a beyond year - “re-“ and “new” were predominate themes, as they seemed to be for many others this year. Quite bluntly, 2018 was a trying year, both in ways I could only dream of, growing and pushing ourselves beyond comfortable limits, to deeper valleys of emotions. Damn Newtonian law...
As we start into 2019, I am still reflecting and making sense of all that transpired in 2018 as well as looking for learnings that I can carry into 2019.
We arrived for the first time in Guaymas, Mexico in early December. Travel consisted of a short plane flight from LAX to Phoenix and then an overnight 12 hr bus ride (complete with ABBA's Dancing Queen as a "Yay-you-made-it-into-Mexico" celebratory anthem courtesy of our bus driver.) Overtired and dirty from 24 hrs of travel, we excitedly settled into the next and final chapter of 2018. Our plan was to dive right into preparations to splash BOAT, celebrate Xmas and New Years in La Paz, and then begin our long trek home up the Pacific side of Baja.
Reflection: While we started the year with one direction or “plan,” this "plan" eventually morphed to a major pivot point while we were in Zihuat. And here is where we realized the meaning of “plans.” They are merely that - a hopeful, but rough sketch for the future. Life has an uncanny way of changing course and direction along the way...
"Being flexible to change is the essence of life. Being rigid like a tempered rod of glass will surely break within the glassblowers hands should the vision of the artwork change direction midway through it's 'becoming.' A skilled artisan keeps the temperature just so in order to account for the changes and growth in any direction of its becoming"
Now back in Guaymas, back to our home which is out of the water and on the hard, we begin preparations to get BOAT back in the water and start our journey back home to CA.
Prior to leaving, I had sent out our "rinse and repeat" float plan to our immediate family, my Mom and Dad, Jay's Mom and Dad, and a close friend that would be tracking us on AIS. In the flurry of a million to-do's in preparation for leaving, phone calls and goodbyes fell to the wayside, being pushed aside by more seemingly important must-get-done tasks.
"Once I get a second to breathe on the boat I'll make my phone calls to everyone -- it can wait."
My Dad called on Tuesday, which in the midst of my "to-do's" and being overwhelmed arms deep between 6 gazillion projects , I sent him to voicemail. He likely was calling to wish me well and to take lots of pictures in the Sea of Cortez for him and maybe a "looking-forward-to-meeting-BOAT-and-seeing-us-in-LA" shortly after we got back sort of ordinary phone call. Feeling guilty for ignoring the call and seeing his voicemail message, I followed up with a text to him on Wednesday night just before I boarded the bus in Phoenix, saying I would call him shortly once I settled back on BOAT, so we could catch up.
That was my last text to him. Wednesday night my father unexpectedly passed away.
The flurry of the next three weeks I can't really describe as while I was physically present, I am not entirely sure where I really was. I was going thru the motions, but with a disconnect between mind and body - everything is numb. Words would come out of my mouth, and my body would move like it always does; brushing my teeth, pulling a shirt over my head, hugging someone, brushing hair out of my face. But it's not my body and its not my mind controlling these movements. As cliche as this is, it did and still does feel like a terrible, terrible mistake or bad dream that I am desperately fighting to wake up from.
Please, just let me just wake up....
We are now back in Guaymas. Working frantically for the past few days, we've prepped as much as we can before we splash tomorrow; bottom paint is done, sails are back on, new starter battery is in, thru hulls are looking good, engine is flushed and oil replaced...and the list continues on. Pretty sure BOAT is as happy as we are to have her back in the water. Here's to hoping once we run thru all the systems, everything is running just as smoothly as she did before (lord knows, everyone we have met/know who has stored their boat for an extended time here, with the harsh temperatures conditions over the summer has had their share of unexpected "fix it" lists that arose after getting back.) Fingers and toes crossed our list is really short, or nonexistent. All and all this Hunter has faired quite well all alone here, and we couldn't be happier (again, I am hoping this trend continues--don't let us down BOAT)
Jay's nephew, Matthew flew in from LA and is joining us as crew for our sail back. THANK GOODNESS! Another hand will be so helpful and he has been nothing short of incredible, jumping right in as if he has been with us all along. Blessings have been counted and dear god, I hope he can deal with us in the 41' of space we will share for the next month.
While this isn't the ending of 2018/beginning of 2019 we expected, I'm raising a glass for our safe passage back home, unexpected gifts in adventure and a always finding the positives in whatever road diversions we encounter. Life is complex, beautiful and as wonderful as you choose to make it.
While I know that my father would have relished in seeing all that continues on with all of his family and friends lives....life still continues on despite. And may we all still continue on...and keep going.